


Sincere

by Chaewoke



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Angst, How Do I Tag, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 17:18:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19468534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaewoke/pseuds/Chaewoke
Summary: All I want from you before you leave, is for you to say those words again sincerely and I promise to stay away from you.





	Sincere

It was a gloomy day today, the sun didn't shine, the dark clouds looming, threatening to pour all over them with heavy droplets of water, and currently matching with Chaewon's mood now, because her girlfriend of 2 years broke up with her.

It wasn't a surprise to Chaewon with how they were slowly drifting apart; missed calls, conflicting schedules, barely having enough time to have date nights or worse abandoning each other after something came up from each others work and broken promises and finding out her best-kept secret.

It wasn't a surprise, and she knew it was her fault but it did still hurt, but she promised Minju that she'll be fine, she hates breaking promises.

Yet she still broke it anyways, like the many other times she broke her promises with Minju.

As the few droplets of tears fell down of Chaewon's eyes, so did the looming clouds start to pour.

Just Great, Just Fucking Great.

She started to run and run, thoughts of their break up running through her head, the way Minju pleaded so brokenly.

"Just one last time, Let me hear you say those words sincerely, and I won't bother you anymore, please just say it one last time."

"Alright, let's promise that we'll be fine after this."

"Okay."

"I Love You."

_More like I Loved You_

_Chaewon was a jerk and she knew that._

Even if they both understood that they don't love each other doesn't mean it'll hurt less.

It will still hurt, regardless of the situation.

Thank God she finally arrived at her apartment, as the thoughts of it was starting to pile up and burdening Chaewon and she didn't exactly wan to break down in public with the stares of judgemental people.

Droplets of tears turning to a heavy down pour just like the rain outside, she finally broke down in protective walls of her apartment.

The pain in her heart aching so much, feeling like there were thorns that were constricting her heart.

It was still lingering after 2 weeks but the pain still felt fresh, she thought she'd be at least over it a little by now, but oh boy was she wrong.

Feeling like there was no other choice she did, what she did for the past few days.

She didn't want to do this, she really didn't want to, it's been years since the last time she did it, but she couldn't do it anymore, she needed to numb the pain in her heart.

She didn't want to go alone, opting to have someone at least drive her home after this, so she called her friend, Hyewon.

God that girl is just too pure for the world and too tolerant and understanding of her, she tried to force Hyewon out and make new and Less Shitty friends, but Thank that angel for being stubborn about not leaving her.

Hyewon was certainly Chaewon's logical side when she drank and got drunk, she couldn't count the many times Hyewon saved her, never letting her do dumb and or rash decisions that may lead her to either her getting into an accident or embarrassment, it was always the latter, but with the way Chaewon was acting now, there was a 10 percent chance of the former happening and God did she pray fervently to keep Chaewon from dying tonight, she really had a bad feeling today.

Hyewon drove them to their usual bar, when Chaewon wants to just ruin her liver or Chaewon just feels like absolute shit.

Hyewon didn't order, she couldn't, but Chaewon she asked for a Bacardi 151, Death in the Afternoon, Black Russian, Zombie and a Couple of other drinks before those.

Hyewon knew she liked to take it slowly, and end up with hardest drinks

Hyewon hopes Chaewon survives tonight, those drink we're gonna kill her.

Just let her be Happy all the time is that too much to ask? Hyewon thought.

Something bad had already happened to Chaewon before Minju and her broke up and she thinks this will just add to her sadness.

The sudden death of her favorite relative, and The passing of her grandfather, getting diagnosed with depression, being reassigned to another branch even further away from Minju(though that seems to be in favour for Chaewon now), and now this, and to think she was already slowly taking her use of anti-depressants to a stop, as her psychologist, told her to not take it too much, and use it only for the days she feels really bad as to not let Chaewon get too dependent on it.

_What a huge step back,_ as she thinks that she'll have start using them again

Hyewon just wants her best friend's happiness, because she also helped her get her happiness, fighting back against her abusive and homophobic relatives and her ex-girlfriend, even going as far as to let her live in her apartment until she could get back in the cycle of life properly, so all she wanted was for Chaewon to be finally happy, she didn't care if Minju was the reason and not her, it was just a crush anyways she'll get over it.

Tap

"Miss?"

She hummed.

"Your friend went out."

_What?_

She looked at the bar stool beside her, finding no presence of Chaewon.

Hyewon lost Chaewon after zoning out.

She paid for the drinks and ran outside, leaving her car, she could get it later, the traffic in Seoul was heavy and she couldn't risk Chaewon being alone and slightly drunk right now.

_Fuck, where could she be?_

_Fuck._

_Fuck, How did she fucking get out._

_Fuck, where would she go?_

Thoughts going through Hyewon's brain was certainly scaring herself.

_Damn It, I'm such a horrible friend, fuck where is she?_

Tears were streaming down Hyewon's face, she couldn't lose her now, she shouldn't lose her ever, she was the girl she secretly pined for, but fuck she lost her today.

She tried anywhere and everywhere she could think of, The Riverbank, Chaewon's apartment, The park and oh she didn't search near THE park yet, the park where they met for the first time when they were children.

Thank God she was there.

"I did something wrong, I deserve this."

"I-I Fuck, I don't know what to do anymore."

Hyewon couldn't count the many time she heard this string of words out of Chaewon's mouth.

How was she not drunk and not dying of alcohol poisoning right now? Oh yeah, Hyewon cancelled the last hard drinks and secretly told the bartender to switch it with something light, bless that girl.

Looking at Chaewon, she was a mess, not even the beautiful kind of mess, from her tear-stained face to her untied shoes, and the broken appearance of her soul.

Hyewon was broken seeing Chaewon so hurt and broken.

She didn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve anything bad, in all of Chaewon's life, all Chaewon did was being a good person to her and the other people

but the world just didn't think it was enough.

Hyewon tried to speak up but, she heard the sudden footsteps of Chaewon.

Chaewon ran away again, not even trying to listen to Hyewon, she was near the street not looking where she was going and the thing that Hyewon didn't want to happen, happened.

A drunk driver hitting her, the blood seeping out her body as Chaewon lay on the cold hard pavement.

Everything was blurry after that, for both Chaewon and Hyewon.

Hyewon screaming for Chaewon and cursing the drunk bastard, people frantically looking around and calling for an ambulance.

And Chaewon slowly closing her eyes, slowly bleeding out.

Was it too late to save Chaewon?

The uncertainty of Chaewon's life being saved, gave her anxiety.

She really hoped Chaewon would be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> It ended up being messy again, I tried to rewrite it 4 times and I just don't know how it got messy, wait it started when instead of letting Hyewon be the bestfriend and had no feelings for Chaewon I decided to add her crush on her, I was a bit delirious when I made this though, so I'm very sorry.


End file.
